A mom was out walking with her 4 year old daughter. the child picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. The mother asked
her not to do that.
“Why?”
“Because it’s been laying outside and is dirty and probably has germs.”
At this point, the child looked at her mom with total admiration...
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Timmy had been have a hard time in math class and got an f on almost all of
his report cards. His mom thought he’d be better off if he went to a private
catholic school. The very first day of school Timmy came home went straight to
his room and began working until he finally just fell asleep on his bed. This
continued for a long time until he got...
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One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”
A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The
7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin
swearing. When his little brother responds enthusiastically, the 7-year old
says, ”When we go downstairs for breakfast this morning, I’ll say ‘hell’ and
you say ‘ass’.”...
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The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body
part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, “You should not
be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and
they will go and tell the principal, who...
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One night a father sent his kid to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed,
”Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!”
”No. You had your chance.”
A minute later the boy screamed ”Dad!! Can you get me a glass of water?”
”No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I’ll come up there and spank
you.”...
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Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls
have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends,
“It’s okay, we can play that game again!”
Two children were in a doctor’s waiting room.
The little girl was softly sobbing.
“Why are you crying?” asked the little boy.
“I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger,” said the
girl.
When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.
“Why are you crying?” asked...
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One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday best was running so she
wouldn”t be late for church.
As she ran she kept praying, “Dear God, please son”t let me be late to
church. Please don”t let me be late to church….” And, as she was running she
tripped and fell.
When she got back up she began praying again, “Please,...
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According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently
was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to
use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their
lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night,...
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There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner
market. The owner didn’t know what Johnny’s problem was, but the boys would
constantly tease him.
They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles
short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice
between...
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