How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
“Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely
and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas
the party of the first part, also known as “The Lawyer,” and the party of the
second part, also known as “The Light Bulb,”...
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A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a
long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the
client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: “Justice
prevailed.”
The senior partner replied in haste, “Appeal immediately.”
At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more
lawyers than humans.
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of
comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while,
they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew
very fond of him.
One day God called to Satan to mock him, “So, how’s it going down there in
Hell?”...
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One day a lawyer was riding in his limosine when he saw a guy eating grass He
told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, “Why are you eating grass”.
The man replied, “I’m so poor, I can’t afford a thing to eat.”
So the layer said, “Poor guy, come back to my house.”
The guys then said, “But...
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What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
What is a criminal lawyer?
Redundant.
An attorney passed on and found himself in Heaven. Not at all happy with
his accommodations, he complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only
recourse was to appeal his assignment. The attorney immediately advised St.
Peter that he intended to appeal. The attorney was immediately informed that it
would be at least three years before his appeal...
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can’t understand.
A lawyer named ‘Strange’ was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made
his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
“Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer. “Sorry, but I
can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter giving the lawyer a little elbow nudge,
“In...
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What educational programs should the United States support to alleviate the
burgeoning U.S.-Japan trade imbalance?
Japanese language lessons for lawyers.