IRELAND
“Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did
a leprechaun crap in it?”
FRANCE
“Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren’t the French just Germans
who can make sauces?”
ITALY
“Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for
a can of Spaghetti-O’s!...
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According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of
stopping. If anything, it’s getting worse.
Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing
that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its
branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going...
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“As far as I’m concerned, war always means failure.”
- Jacques Chirac, President of France.
“As far as France is concerned, you’re right.”
- Rush Limbaugh.
“What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its
national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?”
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: for the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was historical inevitability.
Douglass Adams: 42.
Oliver North: National security was at stake.
Darwin: It was the next logical step after coming down from the trees. Earnest
Hemmingway: To die. In the rain.
Saddam Hussein: It was an unprovoked act of rebellion...
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Why do Iraqis only have 2 pallbearers at their funerals?
Becasue garbage cans only have 2 handles.
What’s faster than the speed of light?
An Afghani with a dinner ticket.
What do you call 20 dead frenchmen in the back of a lorry.
A good days hunting.
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
Their army!
What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A jolly green giant.
One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He
tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the
fairway.
He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge
knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him. “Goodness,” says the
golfer, and...
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There once was a lowly snail, who was busily crawling through the forrest one
day when he happens upon a Leprechaun, perched upon a toadstool. The Leprechaun
looks down at the poor snail, crawling on his belly all his life, and takes pity
on him. “Snail,” he says. “I am going to grant you a wish. Whatever you want,
you have only to ask.”
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