A man walks into a pub and says, “Give me three pints of Guinness, please”.
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately
sip one, then the other, and then the third until they’re gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, “Sir, I know you like them
cold, so you can start with one and I’ll...
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The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such
as:
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
WARNING: consumption...
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Q: How can you tell the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A: The Beer Nuts are about a dollar fifty and the Deer Nuts are under a Buck.
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.
She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker
with tattoos all over his arms answers the door.
She proclaimed, “I want to join your biker club”.
The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker
requirements before she was allowed to join....
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There was this bartender & he was working at the bar one night. In walked a
group of blondes & they were chanting ”44 days! 44 days!” One of the blondes
was carrying a picture puzzle of Cookie Monster in a frame. The bartender leaned
towards the blonde holding the puzzle and asked, ‘‘why are you chanting 44
days?” She set down...
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Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons.
“My son,” the first one says, “started out washing cars at dealership, but now
owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his
choice!”
“My son,” said the second, “started out serving lunch in a real estate office,
but...
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Guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double
vodkas.”
The barman says, “Wow! You must have had one hell of a day.”
“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”
The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what...
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A bunch of guys are sitting at the local bar. They get pretty drunk, and the
topic turns to Bubba at the end of the bar who, as everyone knows, has the
biggest dick in town. One of the guys gets enough courage to go up to Bubba and
ask him why he’s got the biggest schlong around.
“Well,” says Bubba, “every night before bed, I tug on my dick...
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Two guys were walking their dogs and came across a bar. Since they were hot
and tired from walking the dogs they decided to go in and have a drink.
Unfortunately, the bar didn’t allow dogs. There was no place to safely secure
the dogs, so they started thinking of ideas to get in the bar. Then one of the
guys had an idea.
“Just watch...
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A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all drinking in a bar.
After a while, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, threw it in the air and
shot it into a thousand pieces. “Don’t you boys worry about it,” said the Texan,
“we have plenty of tequila deep in the heart of Texas. ”
The Californian, not wanting to be outdone,...
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Q: What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
A: One less drunk.