10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them
names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your
roommate’s potato from the others. Wait a few days, and
then bake your roommate’s potato and eat it. Explain to
your roommate, “He just didn’t belong.”
9) Move everything to one side...
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Exams in an agricultural institute. Professor tells a student:
“Well, I see that you don’t know anything. But you have a last chance. Answer
the question: is it possible to make abortion to a cow? Go prepare yourself.”
The student doesn’t know the right answer. He runs out to corridor and sees a
drunk hippie sitting at the wall....
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A Mississippi professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if
college professors were absent-minded.
“Professors haven’t got bad memories,” he declared. “They’re not
absent-minded. Don’t you think I know where I am right now, and don’t you think
tomorrow I’ll know...
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A son says to his mother, “I am not going to school any more!”
“Why, my son?”
“You know, again Ivanov will hit me on the nose with a textbook, and Vasiliev
will spit into my tea, and Petrov will shoot at me from his sling, and Kuznetsov
will put a needle into my seat…. No, I’m not going!”
“But...
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Why does a Texas Aggie keep his fly open?
In case he has to count to eleven.
Right after the end of WWII children are describing what they did during the
war.
- I helped the soldiers carry ammunitions!
- I brought them dinners!
Vovochka:
- And I once hit a tank!
Everyone is amused.
- Cool! And what did the soldiers tell you?
- Gut, poy, sehr gut!
The professor:
“You are three, stop passing notes to each other!”
The student:
“These aren’t notes. We are playing the preference.”
“Ah! Sorry!”
Biddle and Payne, two elderly English professors, were having lunch in the
cafeteria.
During the course of the conversation, Biddle said,”A student gave me a
peculiar answer in class today. I asked who wrote the Merchant of Venice and a
sophomore said, “Please, sir, it wasn’t me!”
“Ha, ha!” laughed Payne. “And...
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Dear Dad,
No money,
no honey.
Your
Sonny
Dear Son,
How bad,
so sad.
Your
Dad
All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for
Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done.
One night Grady heard a noise under his bed.
Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and whispered, “Anybody there?”
“No,” said the burglar.
“That’s funny,” the...
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Here is a list of the ways professors grade their final exams:
DEPT OF STATISTICS:
- All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
- Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them
in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to
mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY:
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