Collection
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air?
Collecting his thoughts.
College Senior vs Freshman
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
College Seniors vs. Freshman
Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.
Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.
Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of...
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Computer Science
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
College Spend most of your time in a dimly lit lab,playing XTrek and drinking
Jolt. Interact only with other CS majors, and only via the ‘net if you can
manage it.Become passionately involved only in the continuing
IBM/Commodore/Macintosh debate.
Real Life Spend most of your time in a dimly lit office, playing Flight
Simulator and drinking...
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Converse
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
Question: Our teacher told us every student must do something big and pure.
What could you suggest?
Answer: Go to a Zoo and wash an elephant.
Credit
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but he gets three hours credit.
Crowded mens room
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
Professor Pollen went into the men’s room on the train and found it crowded
with other men.
When he came out ten minutes later, his wife said,”Darling, you’ve still got
whiskers. Why didn’t you shave?”
“Oh, dear! I thought I did,” he said. “But there were six of us using the same
mirror, so I must...
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Different
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
A student said to his instructor, “Can you give me a simple example
illustrating Einstein’s theory of relativity?”
“Yes. Say, you’ve put your nose into my ass. Now you say, ‘I’ve nose in the
ass,’ and I say ‘I’ve a nose in the ass.’ The expression is the same, but the
sensations are quite...
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Dihydrogen monoxide
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the
Greater Idaho Falls Science fair. He was attempting to show
how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk
science and spreading fear of everything in our
environment.
In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding
strict control or total elimination of the
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Dumbbells
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
Professor Granger addressed his class: “If there are any dumbbells in the
room, please stand up.”
After a long pause, a lone freshman stood.
“And why do you consider yourself a dumbbell?” asked the professor.
“Well, I don’t, sir. But I hate to see you standing all by yourself.”
Electricity
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
How many college students does it take to change a lightbulb in the South?
At Vanderbilt it takes two. One to change the bulb and one more to explain how
they did it every bit as well as any ivy leaguer.
At Georgia it takes three. One to change the bulb, and two to phone a friend
at Georgia Tech and get instructions.
At Florida it takes four....
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Eloping with a Princeton professor
College Jokes | July 17th, 2008 No Comments »
There was the girl who, against her family’s wishes, ran off and married a
Princeton physics professor. The eloping bride received the following telegram
from her parents:
“Do not come home and all will be forgiven.”