The other day my wife, my son, and I were at the beach. Tommy, at 3 years, is
generally very good about being courteous and careful with other people. Like
any child his age however, he occasionally has lapses. On this occasion he
winged a Frisbee at my wife. After he did so, I prompted him for the usual
gosh-I-really-had-no-idea “Sorry”.
I...
Continue reading »
I definitely think we’re in trouble.
I just saw an ad for a new movie sequel called…
“The Never-Ending Story 2″
A man comes to a magician and asks: “Can you take away the most horrible
conjure?” “What kind of conjure and who has done it?” “It was the witch who said
30 years ago: “And now you are a husband and a wife” ”
One way to take care of the world’s population.
The IRS has reported the “disappearance” of more than 8 million American
children during the late 1980s, “caused” by tax reform legislation. That number
is the total of all children claimed as dependents of beneficiaries of child
care tax credits before 1987 but who were never...
Continue reading »
A 2nd grader comes home from school one day and tells her mom, “Today I
learned how to make babies!” The mother was aghast and sent the girl upstairs to
her room until the father came in. After he had talked to the daughter he told
his wife, ‘Yeah, she told me you just drop the Y and add IES.”
A small boy walks into his mother’s room and catches her topless.
“Mommy! Mommy! What are those?” He says, pointing to her breasts.
“Well, son,” she explains, “These are ballons, and when you die, they inflate
and float you up to heaven.
Incredibly, he appears to believe his mother’s story and goes off, quite
Continue reading »
Robert A. Chase, 45, was charged with threatening an 11-year-old boy with a
knife in Madison, Wis. The boy was watching Chase play basketball with another
adult when the opponent accused Chase of “traveling” (taking steps without
dribbling the ball). To seek an impartial opinion, Chase asked the boy, but the
boy agreed that Chase had traveled....
Continue reading »
Couples I know recently adopted a Chinese baby girl, and were showing her to
friends. A neighbor came by to admire the baby, and asked, “But what will you do
when she gets older and starts speaking Chinese?”
Husband: I hear that fish is good for our brain.
Wife: You had better eat a whale.
Anne: “How long can a person live without brains?”
Billy: “I don’t know. How old are you?”
Father: Don’t you think our son gets all his brains from me?
Mother: Probably. I still have all mine.
Dan: She’s a bright girl…she...
Continue reading »
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers.
When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it
above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“ Which...
Continue reading »
A monastery in the English countryside had fallen on hard times, and decided
to establish a business to defray their expenses, such as a bakery or winery.
Being English, however, they decided to open a fish-and-chips restaurant. The
establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over. One
city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one...
Continue reading »