1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION… “Just wait until your father gets
home.”
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING…. “You’re going to get it when we get
home!”
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE… “What were you thinking? Answer
me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”
Continue reading »
A man calls his mother in Florida. “Mom, how are you?”
“Not too good,” says the mother. “I’ve been very weak.”
The son says, “Why are you so weak?”
She says, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.”
The man says, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?”
Continue reading »
A nasty rainy morning. Husband wakes up, gathers his stuff and goes hunting.
He walks to the street, the rain becomes unbearable so he decides to return,
opens the door and dives back into the bed. Wife, half asleep:
- Hi. Can you imagine, my moron went out hunting!
I bought my mother-in-law a new chair for Christmas. She unwrapped it and sat
in it. Then I said “Plug it in, plug it in!”
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets
up from his seat. She thinks to herself, “Here’s another man trying to keep up
the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his
seat”, and she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She...
Continue reading »
A woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman’s home, when all of a
sudden; they hear the front door open and close.
“Oh, no, it’s my husband!”
The man says, “Where’s your back door?”
“We don’t have a back door,” says the woman.
The man then asks, “Well, where do you want a back door?”
Continue reading »
A young college student wrote home to his family. “Dear mom and dad, I haven’t
heard from you in nearly a month. Please send check so I’ll know you’re all
right.”
An American couple has five children. Their names are Rudy, Larry, Johnny,
Adam, and … Ding Kong Wong. They called their fifth child Ding Kong Wong
because the survey said every 5 babies burned to this world, one of them is
Chinese.
An elderly woman rushed up the stairs to the church, late for the wedding. An
usher asked to see her invitation.
“I don’t have one,” she said.
“Well then, are you a friend of the groom?”
“I should say not,” snapped the woman, “I’m the bride’s mother.”
An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg.
As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several
months later, the doctor took off the cast. “Can I climb stairs now?” asked the
little old lady. “Yes,” he replied. “Thank goodness!” she said. “I’m sick and
Continue reading »
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively
reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent
that they would marry, he thought to himself, she’ll never go through with the
marriage with me carrying on like this,...
Continue reading »