Joe Neanderthal was banging two pieces of flint together trying to start a
fire, when his wife came running up.
“Joe, Joe”, she cried. “A saber-toothed tiger is chasing my mother.”
“So,” said Joe. “Why should I care what happens to a Toothed-toothed tiger?”
A woman walked past her daughter’s closed bedroom door when she heard a
strange buzzing noise. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving
herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked “What are you
doing?”
The daughter replied “Mom, I’m 35 years old, unmarried, and this thing
is about as close as...
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The husband returns home and sees his wife f****** with his best friend.
husband says to him:
“hey you, motherf*****, son of bitch! i am your best friend, we studied at
school together, i found job for you. and you are f****** my wife!”
and he says to his wife:
“bitch, slut! i picked you up from the bottom! gave you food and shelter!...
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Betty’s mother was visiting her daughter and son-in-law Bill. Bill came home
from work and found six vacuum cleaner salesmen outside his house. He dashed in
and said, “Mom, there are six men outside who all claim they have an appointment
for a vacuum cleaner demonstration!”
“That’s right,” the mother-in-law replied. “Now...
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A young guy out on the town with his mates spies the girl of his dreams across
the dance floor. having admired her from afar he plucks up the courage to talk
to her. everything goes better than expected and she agrees to accompany him on
a date the following saturday evening.
saturday night arrives and the man arrives at her house laden with flowers and
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A man went to a bookstore and asked to see a book titled, “How to Control Your
Mother-in-Law.”
“Our fiction department is in the rear, right side of the aisle,” the salesman
said with a smile.
A man came home and found his wife in bed with another man. He challenged the
stranger to a duel. They walked into another room and closed the door. Then the
man said to the stranger, “Why should any of us die? Let’s both shoot into the
air, then we fall to the floor and wait. She will sprint in. To whomever she
will rush, let that man have...
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A young British attorney came to his office all in bruises and scratches.
“What happened to you?’ a colleague asked.
“Oh, it’s some bloody story. Yester eve, I came home from the club, and what I
see in my dining room! There was that frog. Just a small female frog. I took a
seat at the table, when she said in perfect English, ‘If...
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A wife leaves on a business trip. The next day she receives a telegram from
her husband;
- Where are our utensils?
- You should sleep at home, replies the woman.
Next day - same question, same answer until she returns home.
- Why didn’t you tell me where our utensils are?
- I told you “Sleep home”. She went to the bedroom and...
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In the middle of night, a wife woke her husband, “Darling, it’s so cold!”
The husband jumped out of the bed, brought one more blanket from a closet and
carefully tucked it around his wife’s body. After a while, the wife woke him
once again, “My dear, it’s so hot here.” The husband jumped out of bed and
rushed to...
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Here’s a list of camps you may NOT want to send your kids to:
Tommy Lee’s Camp Kickachick.
Monica Lewinsky’s Camp Suckaweewee.
President Clinton’s Camp Getahoochie.
Ellen DeGeneres’s Camp Lickacoochie.
Kenneth Star’s Camp Catchacrook.
O.J. Simpson’s Camp Killachick.
Lorena Bobbit’s Camp Cutaweewee.
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