AMNESIA: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have
sex again.
BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too.
DEFENSE: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let de
children play outside.
DROOLING: How teething babies wash their chins.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids...
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An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over
next to him.
“If you get in the car,” the driver says, “I’ll give you $10 and a piece of
candy.”
The boy refuses and keeps on walking.
A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car
pulls over again. “How...
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These days, pressure to do drugs is all around, so it’s vital that you reach
your kids early. Here are some tips for talking to them about marijuana and
other illegal substances.
* Tell your kids that if they ever do drugs, CIA Director William Webster will
think they are losers.
* As an alternative to drugs, suggest “cool” drug-free...
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A woman came to work with a black eye.
“Who did you that?”
“Husband.”
“We thought he was on a business trip.”
“That’s what I thought too.”
One day a man comes home from work to find total mayhem at home! The kids were
outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty
food boxes and wrappers all around. As he proceeded into the house, he found an
even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken
glass under the table, and a small pile...
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After having watched a number of fashion shows, a woman became obsessed with
the modern vogue. She started inventing all kinds of attires. Once her husband
came home and saw his wife walk naked in the apartment.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Ah, you’re ignorant of the new trends in fashion. This is just my new erotic
costume.”
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10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 am.
9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
8. Shows up at barn raisings in full “Kiss” makeup.
7. When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou sucketh!”
6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.”
5. Defiantly says, “If I had a radio,...
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* Child comes home without glasses claiming to have lost them in a game of
“Lord of the Flies.”
* Your son thinks making hand-puppets requires a paper bag, some water paints,
and no pants.
* “OK, kids! Gather ’round the pentagram for sing-a-long time!”
* Potty training involves a lighter, a clip and rolling papers.
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Two friends meet in the street. One looked forlorn and almost on the verge of
tears. The other man said, “Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved
in?”
The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and
left me forty thousand dollars.”
“That’s not bad.”
“Hold on,...
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