Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the
Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said,
“Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser.”
“Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.”
Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. “I told him St. Patrick
was...
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There was an Asian lady who married an English gentleman and moved to London.
The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but anyhow managed to
communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop
for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn’t know
how to put forward her...
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One day Saddam Hussein was walking in the desert and he stubbed his toe on
some hard object. He bent over to pick it up and a Genie popped out.
“Oh great,” Saddam said, “I don’t have time for this Genie nonsense.”
“Oh wait,” said the Genie, “You have to let me grant you three wishes or I’ll
be trapped...
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
A guy walks into a pub and says, ”Can you remove this steering wheel from my
pants?”
The bartender says, ”Why is that there? Is it annoying?”
“Yes,” the man said, ”it’s driving me nuts.”
A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country
and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring “Run….run!”
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and
roars with the crowd in his thick accent: “R-r-run ya bastard, r-run will ya!”
A third batter slams a hit and...
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Two Bedouins were in the middle of a desert. When one gets something blown
into his eye. His companion takes a look at his eye for him and says, “Hold
still Abdul, it might be sand.”
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the
brewery’s decide to go to the pub for a drink. The Coors President said “Can I
have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please.”
The bartender gave him the drink.
Then the Budweiser President orders, “The King of Beers — Budweiser.”
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After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment,
my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight
siblings and me — all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of
us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our
entourage in disbelief, ”Ma’am,”...
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After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment,
my mother wearily arrived at Rein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight
siblings and me — all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of
us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our
entourage in disbelief, “Ma’am, “he...
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What’s green with 20,000 a*******?
a st.patrick’s day parade!