DrollyJokes.com

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking
down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill.
Who gets it?
The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.

It was so cold last winter…
…I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the lawyer’s rates.
“$50.00 for three questions”, replied the lawyer.
“Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man.
“Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”

Do you know what happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
He gets taller.

The devil came to a young lawyer and said, “I’ll make you a partner in your
firm if you give me your soul, your wife’s soul, and the souls of each of your
three kids, and you agree to sell every one of your clients down the river.”
“Okay”, said the lawyer, “but what’s the catch?”

What do lawyers do when they die?
Lie, still!

What’s the best way to save a marriage?
Go out and price a few divorce lawyers!!!!