DrollyJokes.com

What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things even a pig won’t do.

What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
Another lawyer.

Why don’t lawyers lie on the beach?
Dogs would bury them.

Why should lawyers be buried 100 feet deep?
Because deep down, they’re really good people.

What’s the difference between a Porcupine, and a Porsche with two lawyers
riding in it?
A Porcupine has pricks on the outside.

How many lawyer jokes are there?
3, the rest are true stories.

Two lawyers went into a diner and ordered two drinks. They then produced
sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite
concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in
here!” The lawyers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then
exchanged sandwiches.

Q. What is the difference between a poisonous snake and a lawyer?
A. You can make a pet out of the snake.
God probably ran out of molds for weasels when he was creating the Heavens and
the Earth, so he substituted lawyers.
As you might have guessed, we don’t like lawyers. So sue us.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Wings.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a tick?
A tick drops off you when you die.

After their car broke down on a lonely country road, three men sought a
night’s shelter at a farmhouse. The farmer, poor but eager to help them, said
that he only had two beds so one of the three would have to sleep in the barn.