The seven-year old girl told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play
doctor.”
“Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?”
“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance
company.”
A doctor said to his car mechanic, “Your debit is several times more per hour
then we get paid for medical care.”
“Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn’t changed
since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every year.”
“The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.”
“And did he?”
“Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.”
A fellow walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he
had.
He said, “Shingles.”
So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to
have a seat.
A few minutes later a nurse’s aid came out and asked him what he had.
He said, “Shingles.”
So she took down...
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A woman, calling Mount Sinai Hospital, said, “Hello, I want to know if a
patient is getting better.”
The voice on the other end of the line said, “What is the patient’s name and
room number?”
She said, “Yes, darling! She’s Sarah Finkel, in Room 302.”
He said, “Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very...
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An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death’s door due to an infected
gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his
patients are up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent
blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall
as ordered, and after the third day the...
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Patient to the eye doctor: “Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp,
excruciating pain.”
“Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking.”
A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The
man complains, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.”
The receptionist asks, “Have you ever seen a doctor?” and the man replies,
“No, just spots.”
Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor: Didn’t the new glasses help?
Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.
A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, “I found my dog unconscious
and I can’t wake him — do something.”
The vet lays the dog on the examination table and after a few simple tests he
says, “I’m sorry, I don’t feel a pulse, I’m afraid your dog is dead”.
The lady can’t accept this and says,...
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A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked
her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring,
etc., when she interrupted him: “Hey look, I’m a vet — I don’t need to ask my
patients these kind of questions: I can tell what’s wrong just by looking. Why
can’t you?”
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