you might be a redneck if your husband used a tampon to plug the bathroom
sink.

You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You and your dog use the same tree.

You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in
prison.

The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending upon how much gas
it has...

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Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

You refer to your mother and mother in-law as duel air bags.

You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.

Your family tree does not fork.

You have hot flashes at a cattle auction.

You might be a redneck if you climb to the top of a water tower with a bucket
of paint to defend your sister’s honor.

You might be a redneck if you have more than one living relative named after a
southern civil war general.

IF YOUR GUN RACK HAS A GUN RACK.

A cat drowns in your satellite dish.

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