A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers
went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses
and the supporting industry.
During the tour, some of the children needed to go to the toilet, so it was
decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the
other....
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A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively
mischievous.
The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured
that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some
way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their
sons’ behavior.
I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to the time when:
Decisions were made by going “eeny-meeny-miney-mo.”
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, “do over!”
“Race issue” meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly.
Catching the...
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A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he
would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s
side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like
claws and roar. So it went, step, step, “ROAR,” step, step, “ROAR,” all the way
down the aisle....
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It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades
and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of
this.
Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can
leave early today.”
Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and
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People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets
is that you don’t get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don’t get enough
variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently,
people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there’s the
new Toddler Miracle...
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No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second
person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on...
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Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday Mass when he suddenly felt
nauseous.
“Mom, I think I’m going to throw up!”
She told him, “I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the
lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody
will see you.”
So Little Johnny...
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My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our
lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and
shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the
woods.
“Listen to me!” his mother said sharply, “From now on when you want to
go someplace, you tell Mommy first,...
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The child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive, bright as a
new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage,
her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images
would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the
church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony,...
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We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town.
Very early the next morning, our 3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us
up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us.
About 20 minutes later, he came running back. “Mommy! Mommy!” he exclaimed,
“everybody has doorbells -...
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